Spring
by mmerchieftainess
Summary: A "History of Magic" story, series-compliant but from Snape's point of view. The spring equinox gives Severus a chance to reexamine his life and some of his choices.
1. Chapter 1

**Spring**

_"A History of Magic" story, it is compliant with the series generally but from Snape's point of view. The beginning of the story reflects what I think was intended by the "lapdog" comment in OotP, if you are skeptical._

**Chapter One**

He thought the note was a joke at first; was the old man completely out of his mind?

Severus tucked the note into a chest pocket, pushed his hair back out of his face, slicking it against his skull and re-examined the set-up, a finger lightly checking the security of valves and joints, aware that Lucius was watching him from the doorway.

"What do they want, Severus, are you missing credits and you'll have to return for another term?"

Severus ignored him which only brought Lucius back down the steps to lean over his shoulder, unbearably, into his personal space. Severus, as scripted, took his elbow and started pushing him away as though Lucius were a child.

Lucius laughed and backed up until he arrived at the chair and sat down, continuing to watch him. "Really, Severus, why are you getting letters from Hogwarts? Did they offer you a job?"

He still couldn't be bothered to respond and instead he tightened a washer with his wand. "Lucius, please, why don't you summon tea, I've been working so hard all afternoon."

"If I'm going to fetch your tea, I want to know what the letter said," summoning tea. He readjusted his position in the chair and began to eat a sandwich poking a stray cucumber back between the slices of bread with a finger.

Severus turned away from the distillation equipment and raised an eyebrow.

"You've been practicing that in the mirror, feign to deny it."

Severus glowered. "The note said that two others had been destroyed because someone other than myself tried to open them."

"Yes, that was me, of course. Look, they send you a letter to my home; I want to know what is in it."

Severus sat down beside Lucius and took the tea he was offered.

"Nothing, the old man is crazy. He invited me back for dinner. He thinks he can save me."

"Did he write that? Exactly that?"

"What?"

"That he can save you?"

"Of course not. What would he invite me back for? The pleasure of my company?"

Lucius snorted. "Don't tell the Dark Lord you are getting letters from the old man." Lucius paused. "What kind of dinner? How peculiar. Didn't he want you dead? Perhaps he wants to poison you, rather than save you. It would be closer to type."

Narcissa had entered the room and took a cup of tea proffered by her husband, smiling at Severus who was scowling at Lucius.

"Why are you torturing Severus, dear, our guest looks so unhappy." She sipped her tea and tugged gently on Severus' ear, standing behind him. "What are you discussing and who wants to kill Sev? Is this about my cousin?" She bent over his head and sniffed his hair, tugging on a lanky clump.

"Noo" Severus drew out the "o" in an exasperated whine. "Is this trip down memory lane really necessary?" He took a sip of tea. "The old man wants to congratulate me for becoming a Master and invited me to a private dinner. He probably does it for all such achievements by former students and he probably _would_ take the opportunity to kill me. I'm nothing to him but a Potions Master in the service of the Dark Lord would be a worthwhile kill.

I'm not going, obviously…" Severus had omitted the fact that he had been invited to be Air for the Spring Equinox ceremony besides the dinner, that wasn't actually for him. This was, frankly, an unimaginable honor and his silence was in keeping with the tradition. He was compelled not to speak about it by the goddess, Eostre, herself. He might not go for the dinner, but he was sure as hell going to the ceremony.

"I wouldn't let him kill you."

"Thank you Lucius."

"Maybe you should tell the Dark Lord about it, you could do reconnaissance. Perhaps if you killed the old man for him..." She tweaked Severus' ear and he batted her hand away.

"Stop groping Severus, you're making me jealous. And bless him, he is disgustingly talented, but he'd never even be able to pull his wand on Dumbledore."

"Hmmm." Narcissa acknowledged the last statement with an affectionate smile for them both and again squeezed on his ear.

"I have ears, too, you know."

Narcissa and Severus looked at Lucius and Severus gave an apologetic shrug which caused them all to laugh.

Narcissa rose and pulled Lucius out of his seat. "Come dear, let the half-blood Prince work..." She started up the small stair and out the door.

Lucius turned to Severus, "Don't tell the Dark Lord about the invitation. I'm jealous of your achievement and the favor he has shown you. I tell everyone how much I supported you on the journey, but this isn't about slytherin strategy. You haven't really proved your worth to him yet and you need to be an asset alive, not sacrificed for sport. "

Severus merely nodded gravely. Lucius patted him on the back and followed his wife up the stairs.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Severus arrived at Hogwarts under cover of darkness, via Hogsmeade and the forbidden forest. He had been given his route in the acknowledgment to his acceptance, this one signed by Charis Nigellus, which gave him a sense of security. The ceremony was ancient and sacred; even the Dark Lord would have to obey its laws, which meant that Dumbledore could not use it to kill him even if he wanted. He had met the great aunt of Narcissa's on several occasions socially and she had congratulated him herself when he became a Master. He was assured of his safety and his acceptance to the role he would be playing.

He would meet with Dumbledore and Madame Nigellus in the dungeons, alone. He had not expected to see the other participants, they were meant to remain anonymous with all focus being on their roles.

Or so he believed. Severus had studied the ancient ceremonies and rituals as an elective since he was a first-year; as with curses, no other students could claim to know as much as he did. Except one, perhaps. The modern wizarding world retained links to the old world and old magic but most of it was conflated with Dark Magic and shunned in practice. To know the ceremonies, one would have to be a part of them and it was a great honor to be chosen. There were only a few witches and wizards who would perform the roles of the elements, they rotated as the season and their own nature dictated. But only the very strongest and most powerful were chosen and Severus was now one of them. Most wizards and witches did not believe the ceremonies were still taking place, others believed the ceremonies were held by cultists. But others, like Severus, believed they welcomed the seasons and could affect everything from the climate, rainfall, the harvest, and the fertility of plants, animals, and beings.

Severus felt a thrill as he opened the door to Hogwarts and descended the stair towards the dungeons, but he knew better than to get his hopes up and prepared himself for disappointment.

Dumbledore and Madame Nigellus were sat facing each other at the far end of a long table in a room lit by thousands of candles, he had never even known of the room's existence, before tonight. They were silently looking at each other and only slowly turned away from each other to look at him as he approached them, on Madame's side of the table. Dumbledore's face was emotionless. "Severus."

Severus only nodded at him in reply, he brought Madame's hand to his mouth in greeting. "Good evening, Severus."

"Good evening."

He sat beside her. Dumbledore poured wine into three goblets and he toasted Eostre and they drank. Madame toasted Severus' selection and they drank. Severus toasted the elders and the participants who had gone before and they drank.

Dumbledore looked him in the eye. Severus felt no legilimency but occluded him anyways. "The equinox is Wednesday this year, the 23rd of the month. We will begin with the ceremony and if you would like to stay, there will be a meal the night after, here in this room, past and present participants..."

"I won't eat with you." Severus interrupted. "It isn't part of the ceremony, so I won't be a part of the meal. I give my word that I will perform my role with all my dedication but nothing else."

"You are invited nonetheless."

Damn that old man. Snape skin burned hot with a sudden and wild rage and he stamped on the fires that consumed his heart. How dare he? He'd had the chair pulled out from under him too many times at that old man's table, metaphorically speaking; how dare he invite him to anything? The goddess had selected him but Dumbledore would doubtless have preferred one of his precious Gryffindors.

But he has no control over this.

That thought calmed Severus and he felt his rage slipping away.

"I have reviewed some of your old assignments here, the scholarship you performed as a student. I didn't know the depth of your interest in the old..."

Severus's expression was growing more baleful with every word out of Dumbledore's mouth.

His temper had caught fire again. Of course you didn't know, you stupid bloody old man, you were too busy punishing me and celebrating those sociopathic Marauders.

"I have confidence you know what to do. I will leave now and you can ask Charis any questions you might have. Good night, I will see you again soon."

Dumbledore stood. "Congratulations for your achievement, the youngest Potions Master in generations and the first new British Master in over 50 years. It is a very great thing you have accomplished." With that, he quit the room. This recognition from his former headmaster diminished Severus' pride somehow.

Madame turned to him with narrowed eyes. "Refusing to share a meal with a man in the ancients' time was a declaration of war, Severus, or didn't Eileen teach you that? Contemporary politics must not be permitted to sully the ceremonies, what happens now has happened before and will happen again. It is meaningless unless it effects lasting change and sharing a meal will not change anything."

"I know that Madame, but he didn't expect me to eat with him. Inviting me to share the meal… he doesn't want me there but he maintains the moral," Severus drew out the word, "high ground."

Madame shook her head in frustration with his immaturity, she would indulge Eostre's favourite by dropping the subject although she was curious why the young, normally aloof man had such strong feelings about the Headmaster.

"You have been selected as representative of Air, purity of spirit, you will approach the circle from the east. You cannot apparate directly to the location of the ceremony. Eostre will raise your awareness, so to speak, of when and where to apparate." The older woman smiled and reached across and patted Severus' forearm where the dark mark lay dormant. "But it won't burn, I expect you will rather enjoy the sensation."

Severus gave a short laugh, slightly taken aback when he realized what she was saying and at the much, much older woman's playful flirtation, and she laughed with him.

"Enjoy the walk to the circle, take your time. Don't bring anything," Severus started to interrupt but she waved him off, "You will find everything you need on the walk. Use your power and trust your instincts."

She stood up and Severus took her arm and walked her out of the room and towards the doors, but she pulled away. "I'm going to have a drink with Albus before I leave. Good night, young man. And don't forget, Eostre chose you, and that is a very great thing."

Air. Purity of spirit. Praise her, but had Eostre lost her mind, too?

And all of this talk of great things. Yes, he knew he had made a great achievement, he had a natural ability and he dedicated himself to becoming the best at it and managed to do so younger than anyone else in ages. He was very good at what he did but he wasn't yet great.

Later that evening after bathing, he stood in front of the foggy mirror and looked at the left forearm Madame had patted earlier. He knew how the dark mark worked but to think that Eostre used the same magic… It wasn't dark, it was ancient magic and beautiful in its way.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

He had told Lucius and the others at his house he was going for a walk to collect specimens, it worked everytime and he found himself alone, slipping through the Malfoy perimeter and into the field following the setting sun. It had been raining all day and dew on the tall grasses absorbed into his old robes so he discarded them and kept walking. He stood on a slight elevation and watched the sun winking and disappearing below the horizon and then he felt it. Warm soft fingers, light and insistent as the wind, caressing his arms, neck and face, his chest, pushing up his shirt and pushing at his trousers, sliding around his waist and stroking him. He stopped, holding out his arms, to catch his breath and apparated as he was compelled; he _knew_, and hoped he would remember, how the Dark Lord did this magic _wrong_ in comparison.

He appeared in a field not unlike the one he had left; he maintained his direction and saw a hill ahead of him and a wood beyond. He continued.

Every blade of grass, every stem, leaf, and insect was outlined by a glow. He bent to tall grasses and watched them pulse with the same rhythm as his heartbeat; they were so alive. He stopped to admire a tree, geometric shapes whirling in the bark. He rested his hand upon it and the surface constricted and squeezed as every molecule tried to make contact with him. As he pulled his hand away, the bark arched every so slightly to keep contact with him and he stroked the tree that responded, arching and stretching, as Narcissa's cat did in his lap.

As Narcissa herself had once done, and rewarded him with many of her friends as well. He wasn't much to look at but he was a good sport. Perhaps this was the source of his selection as Air? He believed in the experience entirely and the simplicity of doing it well. He didn't love Narcissa and she didn't love him- he was at the Malfoy's over the Christmas holiday and she was bored. They had a great time and Lucius made them promise not to do it again - they wouldn't.

The memory of making love to those young women coincided with renewed attention from the whisper fingers and he removed his shirt. He continued toward the hill. It should have been much colder than he felt but the unseasonably green grasses were generating heat.

Fat, lazy bumblebees rose drunkenly out of the grasses only to descend on new flowers. Crickets hopped and butterflies glided. My goddess, they were loud. Not the butterflies, but everything else, like Oxford Circus but pleasant. The chirping of the crickets and the buzzing of the bees to the crunching of tiny insects over soil and vegetation. And out of the wood he heard a rhythm, maybe drums? They directed him to the hill.

And the stars. So many of them, more than he had ever seen and a few fluffy clouds to make them seem brighter. There was no moon that he could see but the night was very brightly lit as each bright star was outlined with a glow. The concave, violet sky looked very close, as though he could reach up and knock the stars out of it. He continued through very tall grasses lifting his legs as though he were running hurdles. He succumbed to the insistent fingers and removed the last of his clothing. He was half erect and the fingers kneaded his back, neck, and ass, lightly stroking his penis. He saw rings of smoke rising from the western forest and carried on the breeze he heard laughter, singing, and more drums.

I wonder.

At the foot of the hill he scooped a handful of water to drink from a puddle and instinctively pulled from its surface his mask. The mask was attached flush to his hairline and dripped down his neck, he did not feel it harden but knew it was in place until he decided to remove it. As he climbed the hill he passed through low clouds that cloaked his nakedness. He turned once to look out over the valley through which he'd walked seemingly for days but it was obscured by the clouds.

He walked through woods that had been bare at the foot of the hill but were experiencing an accelerated season. Branches swelled and green buds tumbled out giving rise to flowers then leaves, their colors distinguishable by the candle-like quality of the fireflies and starlight. The moon was no longer obscured by clouds, it was waning but overly bright and swollen casting stark shadows. The air had a soupy quality and he ran his arms through it.

They all stepped into the clearing at the top of the hill simultaneously, toes bending crisp blades of grass at the same moment and they stepped onto the large flat rock, roughly the same measurements as the room he had shared at Hogwarts. They walked slowly towards each other and here Severus felt his first personal feeling since he left anticipation on Malfoy property.

He was curious about the one Eostre had chosen for him and as he looked south, his eyes met fire and he knew.

All doubt he experienced as a result of identification as east were put to rest. He loved her purely, there was nothing else he needed to know. Calm settled over him and he knew what to do... He had been chosen to lead.


End file.
